


The Real Meaning About You

by charcolor



Category: Vocaloid
Genre: Gen, heads up this is NOT a serious fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-08
Updated: 2017-12-08
Packaged: 2019-02-11 22:28:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12945363
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/charcolor/pseuds/charcolor
Summary: Gumi reveals a horrible, vulgar secret to her housemate.





	The Real Meaning About You

"I'm home!"

Just like every day at three o'clock, the door opened to let in Gumi's lightweighted voice. Cul was lying on the couch when Gumi entered the living room, a backpack slung over her shoulder. Cul greeted her with a smile. "Hey."

Gumi let her orange backpack slide onto the carpet as she dropped in a seat beside Cul's bare, pale feet. She returned the grin. "How'd things go today?"

Cul hadn't woken up before Gumi left for her college classes, so she hadn't seen her all day. She sat up, pulling her legs closer. "Well," she began, "I burned my breakfast, because  _somebody_ forgot to show me how to cook eggs." She glared accusingly at Gumi, then they both giggled. "Nothing much happened besides that. What classes did you have today?"

"Anthropology and French," Gumi replied.

Cul's eyes widened, showing full crimson irises. "Ooh, I forgot you took a French course!"

Suddenly Gumi's eyebrows scrunched in worry. She raised a finger to her lips to bit the nail. "I do."

Cul noticed the change in Gumi's face and leaned forward so she was on her stomach, looking up at her. "Did something happen?"

"I learned...I learned some cuss words."

Cul tilted her head. "Is that bad? You've cussed around me before. What did you learn?"

Gumi shrugged. "Well, it's not like it was a lesson. It just came up."

Cul smirked mischeviously. She wanted to know too. 

"I found out the word for ass."

"Oh,  _nice."_ Cul giggled. "Well, don't leave me in the dark."

Gumi swallowed and looked away. "...Cul."

"Mm-hmm?"

Poor Cul was so confused. She didn't get it. Gumi sighed. "No, it's...the word."

Cul still didn't understand. She chuckled. "What are you talking about?"

Gumi shook her head. "Just...look it up."

Cul shrugged and reached for her phone. Gumi watched, her heartbeat shaking her hands as Cul stopped and slowly looked back up at Gumi. With a straight face, she asked in a low voice, "Is this a fucking joke?"

Gumi sighed again, shaking her head.

"Your name means 'blessing,'" Cul added, her hands shaking around her phone. "Your name is beautiful and serene. And mine...is ass. My name is just 'Ass.'"

It wasn't just a vulgar synonym for "donkey," either. Cul was literally just the French word for "ass."

Gumi twiddled her thumbs. "If it makes you feel better," she said softly, "at least it's not 'Arsloid.'"

That made Cul give a half-smile and a short chuckle in response, but dejection still filled her eyes. She stood, phone still in hands. "I'm gonna make a phone call real quick."

Gumi's green eyes, widened with worry, looked back over at Cul. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah. Hang on."

Cul walked down the hall, and Gumi heard their bedroom door close. A few seconds later, Gumi heard a hysteric shout that was muffled by the walls, but the words were still clear.

"Mom, what the  _fuck_ were you thinking? ...You never told me about the ass thing! ...You know _exactly_ what I'm talking about... You never bothered to look up whether or not you were naming your kid 'Ass'? ...Yeah, you heard me! Why else would you choose the name 'Cul'? ...'Culture' my ass! Or mon cul, as the French say!"

After a moment of silence, Cul returned, a calm smile on her face. She let out a sigh of relief. "It feels good to yell at my mom like that."

"Are you gonna change your name or anything?" Gumi asked.

Cul shrugged. "I dunno. Maybe I'll just change the spelling. I'll let my mom reflect on her life first. Anyway, you wanna do Arby's tonight?"

Gumi, all worry gone from her face, spring up from the sofa with a grin. "Hell yeah."


End file.
